Monday, August 31, 2009

Feelings of The Heart

Have anyone ever wondered how much one's heart can take? Well, I for sure know that it has been a LONG as bumpy ride for mine...it always ponders in my mind...how much can I take? How long can I wait? Sometimes I just fail to find the words to explain & express how it feels deep down inside...and the worst part is...you see people around you...people you know, people you're close to, people that might be directly or indirectly involved in your life...and guess what?? I just can't stop the tears...yeah...call me a wimp...a pussy...a loser...call me emo...I guess that's just the way life works...you can't get everything you want & you wish or desire for...

Looking back in time
I should have told you I needed you so
Looking back in time
I still remember the look of your eyes

But I, I should have told you
I loved you before
And I, I didn't mean to
Deny that I was wrong

Without you
I was lost
I'm sorry
I never meant any harm
Being forced into this madness
I tried to back down
I tried to hold on
Looking back in time...

These are just a part of the lyrics from the very first song I composed in my life...I'm still searching for the inspiration and motivation that prompted me to write those words...
Can I NOT look back in time?? Can I only look forward and not look back??
I guess the label of being a sponge does suit me correctly...who is going to know what's inside this little heart of mine? How much it can actually take...how far I can strive...how long I will be patient...I'm hurting...it really really REALLY hurts...I'm really sorry, didn't mean any harm at all...but in a way, I guess I was really forced into this, the only difference this time...I'm not even going to TRY to back down or hold on...because I don't want to look back in time...I want to open my eyes to what's going to be installed for me...& PROBABLY you in the future...
I'm lost...seriously I am...& I guess I probably need a compass to guide myself out from this little lost heart of mine...

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